Over the past 18 months I’ve really gone through a lot of changes in the way I view and understand the world around me. And its almost like I am seeing the world with new eyes, as the curtain is pulled back more and more and the injustices, the shocking truths veiled underneath our lives become more and more apparent. And for each inch the curtain draws back, and I look a little closer, a little deeper, new shades of grey appear and the lines of order and structure to my reality blur even more out of focus. From the trainers on my feet, to the shampoo I use, even the milk that I drink. Understanding how everything around us is created, maintained and ultimately, monopolised has been a difficult and testing experience, but even more so, one which compels me to act. One that reaches down deep into the pits of my being and violently rattles the cages. I cannot keep sitting still like this. And the more I see, the more I seem to find the same thought re-appearing in my mind. That, to the extent that I can, I do not want to be a part of any of that. I won’t contribute to the problems, I’m going to work to be a part of the solution. There is a lot I am sure I have yet to learn, and I have only begun to even touch the surface of understanding how this wonderfully complex world operates, and how deep the rabbit hole goes. But if I know anything, its that I want my contribution to be positive. I want the world to better, because I was here. If the world is full of a darkness that has spread through every crevice and every crack, I want to be a bright emanating light. Because that’s what we are, and certainly what we need right now.
And amidst all of these lofty ideals and great desires, things are more uncertain than ever before. There are no more safety nets like at school, college and even university. This is it. I have to find my way in the world, and make it work so at the very least, I can stand off of my own two feet and get by and progress. It seems my time and hour of calling has finally come. Time to get things moving once more.
Those who have spoken to me recently may be aware that for some time now, I have been intent on going away for a few years to study. For lots of reasons that I won’t go into, I have decided that the place I originally wanted to go to, is not the right step for me.
And so, I am now faced with a bit of an interesting dilemma and a dilemma which I would like to share with you today. Because somewhere out there, something, some golden opportunity, has my name written all over it. I just need to get my hands on it. I have been searching far and wide to find the place/opportunity that will best give me what I am looking for and I’m close, I can sense it. But I’m still a little bit lost. I know I am almost there, but not just yet.
It’s like when you’re driving somewhere, you’re looking for your destination – checking your map and your tomtom, phoning up your relatives/friends but still, you can’t quite find it. Even though its (frustratingly!) probably only around the corner. And then you pull over to the side of a random street and ask passers by for directions and as it turns out, it is just nearby around the corner, and you’ve just come a little too far or taken one wrong turning somewhere. So this is me, doing precisely that. Pulling over on the side of the road, and asking for help.
So if you are reading this, please spread this message far and wide for me. Share it on facebook, twitter, email, whatever you think is best. Show it to people you know and/or to people you think may be able to give me a point in the right direction and get back to me. Any and all suggestions are welcome! If you know of an opportunity, or a place you think I should visit, opportunity that I should check out as I embark on my journey, let me know!
So to clarify, let me tell you a bit about what I’m looking for and interested in so that you can help me find it:
– I want to dedicate the next 2 years to really pushing my own personal growth and to studying/education. Preferably I want to go around India/China side of the Asian continent. It doesn’t have to be one place/opportunity for the whole 2 years, it could be several.
– Somewhere where I can learn more about spirituality, about myself, about life and really experience the true meaning of this wonderful little world we are in. I want to study intensely, and then when I come back, share what I have learned with the world in order to make it that bit better, and that much brighter.
– Somewhere where I can learn more about Hindu/Buddhist teachings. But away from any ritualistic/blind thinking. Something very reason and rational based. For example, I really admire Swami Vivekananda’s teachings (see ‘Unity in Variety‘ post), J. Krishnamurti, Bruce Lee which draw from these philosophies but really sift through and draw out the core, empowering messages that have been somewhat lost.
– Somewhere where I can get away from the world of commercialism/capitalism/materialism/all this other BS and draw out the great person that’s lurking beneath. Even if it’s deep in the Himalayas somewhere!
– Somewhere where I am challenged and pushed not just to my limits, but even beyond them. Both physically, and spiritually/mentally. (You need physical discipline, as well as spiritual). I want to see for myself what happens when I am thrown into the deep end.
– Somewhere where I can learn and see for myself the injustices and inequalities in the world.
– Somewhere where I am not committed to the organisation afterward/am not restricted by that sect/viewpoint/movement/organisation.
– Whatever the place is, wherever it is. I don’t want to just become all spiritual and then be ignorant of world issues/affairs. I want to be learning but at the same time, involved in some grass roots movements or something like that.
– Obviously I have a limited budget. So money wise it needs to be affordable/sustainable.
So what are your suggestions? Do you know of a great opportunity that I might be interested? Whether its a gap year opportunity somewhere, or a placement, get in touch. Maybe you knew someone who went travelling or went yourself. Post me a reply on here/twitter/FB. I’m all ears. Most of all though, please share this post, and pass it on so that I can find what I am desperately searching for.
We all know the world isn’t really going to end in 2012. But what if it was? How would you live your year then? I know my answer.
What would yours be?